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Human… or not ?

Every day that passes I wonder how much time does one take to finnaly see through the lense of perspective and maturity the world he’s living in. You would probably say that it’s pretty obvious how things evolve… but, the truth is that it isn’t so. I enquire myself facts from life and therefore I must make the relation with interior gatherings and knowledge. We usually talk about what makes us complete from professional point of view (abilities, skills) and ought for a better status in life; we stand for everything that can make us feel human, personally developed (values, principles) and sometimes consider that starting from profession we can improve our human skills. I came to see that actually what makes us feel human doesn’t have anything to do with something that we can find in the exterior, it’s a given fact that everything which forms our humanity is a very introspective value, a personal feeling and purpose. I like to think that what the world offers us is representing just a couple of pieces that we can and must add to our humanity in order to be in harmony with the medium and everything that’s going on in it. Moreover, like every social status and function, that requires a quantity and quality of knowledge in order to succeed, life gives a part for the profession of being human. Investment, desire and purpose seem to be the keys for an ultimate feeling, humanity, the feeling of being human. What can we inherit better than this vision  ?

(image source: flickr.com)

About prospects and career !

Deciding what’s best for you isn’t an easy thing to realize, especially when you’re confronting problems from the environment or exterior influences. Yet, nothing should be pressing enough to force you in chosing wrong and facing problems from your unclear and inconsistent behaviour. There’s no turning back from a bad election, everything that is done is done because you wanted it to be that way and probably didn’t considered what’s best for you in a matter of minutes or even seconds. In a previous article (relating to something I’ve said about this topic) I mentioned facts about knowing yourself better and consider the propper experiences in life, but now it’s time to decide what’s best and conclude  something from your agenda of goals and achievements. You have certainly put yourself these questions: “How am I  to do these jobs ?”, “What can I get from my achievements and how to invest ?”, “Where to start from ?”  and probably, “Why am I doing this finnaly? “. Well, I presume you want quick answers, just as I want, but these questions have their answers one at a time. The best way to realize something is to practicly start doing activities from your area or connect with them. It may not be what you want to do, but then you start searching for ways of improving what you know from other areas (somehow connected with your main activity) and mentain a line, a consistance until you find out that it fits you and then exploit your potential. I must say that it’s very tiring to start constructing a new wall from an old one which was sadly damaged by your inconsistence and uncertainty. Somehow, time solves a lot of things, but investment and prosperity are the keys to succeed no matter what road you choose in life. I think we must always keep a minimum of  balance in everything we do, and here I make a proposal for a short-term plan, the long-term one requires a solid base and a road full of barriers and attempts coped with experience. I’ve always been an adept of self-analyze and consider that actually the most important thing we must improve in order to succed is ourself, our humanity. (The story to be continued)

(image source: flickr.com)

 

Experience abroad !!

I definitely have something to say about visiting other countries and experiencing other cultures; it makes sense when you’re talking about your personal image of the world and relate it with experiences (something that I said in a previous article). Ever wondered how traditions, customs, ideas and therefore a way of life evolves and forms a mentality? Didn’t had the opportunity to visit lots of countries but what I’ve seen in only one country made me understand what space, time and human kind forms as a civilization; going into their deepest roots and searching for historic material, proof, I’ve seen how the architectural style, the way of clothing, the manners and the gastronomy combine into something which comes from prehistoric times and has a natural way of evolving, like a piece of good material which exists there from the beginning and has the opportunity to develop into something much greater, an entire community, society, and therefore a civilization, a piece of the world. I thought Germany is a land where everything is cold and reserved, but I was very wrong considering that what immediately comes to my mind, seeing outside the box, is good and meaningfull. I had the chance to see into something introspective, to relate with what I’ve red and what I have as proof (monuments, people, architecture), and I was stunned by the power of unity and good conservative thinking of the people from different classes. Then I realized what sort of implication must men have to form such a great civilization, where social consciousness creates a platform from which everything that evolves has a very good root. Men have a good understanding of principles and knowledge has a very distinctive role in life. This may come from a group, but what a group forms extends slowly to something much greater, that has into it’s prospect consistence and unity. I think it must be something in this root, some kind of an impulse which integrates all images in a vision, a collection of data which has a direct purpose. They fall and unite quickly, they discharge and recharge every time’s the need and seem to have a permanent reserve of constructive proud and power to emerge.

I would say a lot about the German people, yet I’m not that informed about how civilizations develop and create this unity that we see today. We admire, think, prospect and take advantage of every beautiful place that we visit in the world, but we don’t necessarily have the entire image of the place. We need much more than a simple background of information to gain what the place it’s truly ment to give, a piece of history, a piece of humanity and civilization. I learned that everything that exists in this world has a purpose and is intended to be a part of something much greater, it’s a given fact , a dialectic of the world and it’s rules. I had the need to write this article because it represents a start for something I’m interested in: culture. I wanted to share my thoughts like I did by now and keep a line of dignity and reserve by not crossing barriers into the unknown, where I don’t have any information. (to be continued…)

Shall we speak again, Mr. Mann ?

I have a good impression about the writing (The Buddenbrook House), it unveals some kind of a misterious atmosphere were everything’s falling apart even from the beginning and let’s you know that nothing can repair the course of the story. It seems like the cold German accent which is put on the persons, shapes their character into an emotional gross, incapable of going beyond the pragmatic rules of the society. Somehow, I’m stunned by it, more often I tend to say that what you’re thinking about people reflects they’re unnatural way of being, and I’m afraid that this goes beyond the borders of you’re land, Germany.

A book which reflects the interest of the writer in something much more subtle than the atmosphere created, (the dresses, the names, the attitudes) offers a clear image of a day-to-day program of the family and combines the scenes in such a manner that you’re actually forced not to forget any detail. I put some questions on the story line, it seems that Mr. Mann didn’t wanted to obey a typical family decline, it’s a continuous up-and- down  process which doesn’t give you an opportunity to preview the ending. Allright now, but why so many details, why did you put so many accents on actions that don’t have any meaning for the book ? I understand you are a very formalist person, but so many descriptions make me think you tend to delay the story and make it a cover of something rather  incomplete and superficial. The reality of the story exceeds all the unlikable aspects of the book and puts it into a possible scenario for a german family, like a painting inspired from reality, from the nature. I’ve always wanted to ask you, have you identified yourself in one person from the book ? What sort of character describes you best and from your way of writing ? I say this because I tend to think that many of your writings have a specific role in your life, it’s somehow a relation, a connexion between them and must form a way of life, a way of thinking, something like a natural tendence.

I felt a bit sad about Thomas and Tony, they deserved a good life, not the up-and-down road that you’ve given them, it’s like having a true character in a bad medium, decayed by it and forced to take values that are not made for them. Tony, such a gentle and innocent lady, Permander and Grunlich made her life a misery and put the Buddenbrook family under the atrocities  of their risky and compromising environment. I feel sad about the ending and search for clues in your other books (should it be Lotte la Weimar or other ?)… which one to read, which one to recommend ? I will definitely continue my story as I have more clues. Oh, not to forget… Thank you Mr. Mann!

(image source: flickr.com)

I had this dream…

Anxiety, a loss of great forces that strenghtens you in the most interior parts of the soul. I search for ways of communicating, and cannot see the waterfall of ideas without spreading them, that’s why I feel anxious. Suddenly, I find myself alone and without any perspectives, plus, this word, anxiety recalls some bad memories which keep me from going on with my dream. At the beginning I felt secure and protected by the future, but what made it complete now diminishes into very small parts which are very hard to put back into a puzzle, that one piece which is missing must come out in this dream sooner or later, so I’m going on with my story. I find myself sitting in an old room (the roof and the windows seem to be painted with a grey colour which transforms the atmosphere in a very silent one), the door is opened and a noise of people arguing comes from a very long distance. I walk to the door and open it wider so I can see what’s going on… the stairs seem to fit perfectly with the ground, but I don’t see any ending. It’s like I’m going down into something which will swallow me. No way, I’m going down, I want to see what’s happening and search for my watch, I think this is too much… I’m a bit scarred, no one’s around, quickly I look in every part of the house and arrive in the main room, still don’t find my watch, I’m allready getting tired and need to know what time is it. It seems like I’m walking around the room and is getting very cold, dense fog covers everything that could help me identify where I am. Something very strange is happening, and shouting as hard as I can without any response I turn back in my room, but, I can’t, it’s the same thing over and over again. In the end I find myself very relaxed and calm, near a sea which makes me feel like I’m floating, suspended over the water and the birds; the next second I wake rapidly with the wall watch in front of me… it’s only half past seven.

Totul si nimic… raman in asteptare !

Deschid ochii… e ora 7:00 dimineata, stau o clipa nemiscat si cu privirea tinta catre geamul ce parca incadreaza ca intr-un tablou vederea de afara; este probabil 12 septembrie, o zi de toamna, una dintre cele care sfideaza logica naturii si intarzie sa apara asa cum a promis echinoctiului. Imi propun sa fac ceva astazi, imi propun totul, astept sa devin una cu actiunile mele si sa incep a crea ceva, a construi si a maslui tot ce mi-a venit in gand cu o zi inainte. Vreau sa scriu, incep a-mi asterne gandurile frumos pe o foaie de hartie ce inghite cerneala cuvintelor scrise apasat si hotarat, in acord cu starea mea prohibitiva de a nu lasa nimic la o parte. Urmez totul ca la carte, si se pare ca ma fortez sa iasa ceva din ceea ce mi-am propus atata timp (adica de ieri pana azi) de parca m-ar alerga cineva printr-un lan de porumb iar eu nu as sti incotro sa o iau. Acelasi dans al vietii se deruleaza in fata mea ca un spectacol caruia nu-i pot rezista si ma grabesc sa castig timp din timpul intrat prea mult in profan, ce se scurge in nesimtire. Incep sa imi pregatesc iesirea in fata actorilor, ce lucreaza in aceasta institutie de stat, pe nume viata, si-mi hotarasc pasii, mi-I indrept ca si cum nesiguranta ar lua locul sigurantei in orice moment.

Vanzatoarea de la magazin se grabeste sa imi dea restul inapoi si fara sa realizeze ma penalizeaza cu un sfert din pretul painii… Ma grabesc sa iau taxiul ca sa ajung la facultate, taximetristul nu pare prea incantat de companie, asa ca stabileste cursul leului in raport cu euro in defavoarea mea. Ajung la cursuri, predau lucrarea in graba si ies din facultate ca si cum as fi fost intr-o scurta vizita; ajung acasa si incep a-mi numara banii, observ ca am cheltuit cu 40 la suta mai mult decat ar fi trebuit in mod normal si incep sa ma agit, agitatia incepe si mai tare atunci cand realizez ca sunt de fapt cu 40 la suta mai falit decat eram inainte si imi caut actele pentru scoala de soferi. Da… am uitat adeverinta medicala in mapa proiectului si ma gandesc cum sa ajung mai repede la facultate pentru a o recupera, maine am nevoie de ea intacta. Presimt ca am succes, dupa o ora ajung acasa ostenit si incep a-mi face planuri pentru ziua de maine, dar din pacate, momentul de relas nu dureaza mult… Adeverinta medicala pe care o luasem trebuia de fapt lasata la cabinetul medical iar pentru scoala de soferi aveam nevoie de o alta… ma mai relaxez putin dupa ce imi dau seama ca pe 13 trebuie sa ma prezint mai pe seara cu actele. Da, e clar, e o conspiratie, uneltita si intoarsa impotriva mea. A doua zi o iau de la capat si ma trezesc acum scriind randurile de fata ! In continuare… t’as déjà vu !

Again, reference to personality

I lay down for a second turning my screen off and shuting all my systems which connects me to reality… further views are not available anymore, they stand in front of my person like an army trying to reach beyond the great wall of a big fortress and doing so, they go back with the intention of coming again with enforcement… but, they won’t succeed. I think about me, myself and I trying to gather all these persons in only one personality, the difficult part is that I’m not succeeding as I thought I would. To start with ‘me’ I recall the certain facts which describe me best as a person, as a character (ex: not too shy, neither bossy and rude; not relaxed but calm). I see ‘myself’ (like a probatory term for ‘me’) as a hall now and try to integrate all the parts that were given by me, by my character. It’s quite funny actually because you see a toy which has all it’s parts sewn by a bad tailor. Yes, it’s funny I know, but somehow a bad irony about me; I know these are things which are going to be worked for. ‘I’, very general, very not me and in the mean time, very each one of us; the hall part of me seen by different things and in different ways (the society, the family and everything that’s going on around). Like a movie that hasn’t seen the screen yet, this is how life it’s seen through the lens of my perspectives. I put ‘me’, ‘myself’ and ‘I’ near each other, confronting and debating on and on until they give their final decisions regarding those views that connect with life. Hey, ‘I’ stoled the ideea that ‘myself’ gave, but look, ‘me’ has allready given up. What are you doing here guys ?… Yeah, it’s very hard handeling them, they are very cantankerous, but they won’t give up until they succeed, or perhaps ‘I’ succeed. I wake up wondering how much it took, I undo the belts and make contact with the reality; hmm I was quite surprised when I found out that it took less then I thought it would.

The French Jukebox

The Propaganda: The man with two faces spreads the word !

I saw him twice walking on the same boulevard wearing a dark coat and a vintage hat… He had some small badges on the left arm, signs of an old man who’s life went from a difficult experience to another, lived with the most greatful desire to serve and protect he’s supreme goals. That’s what it came to my mind… I was just passing by and I couldn’t observe what attraction this man had, he wasn’t looking like an ordinary person, he’s style was something like a mixture between the classic intelectual and the brutal army comandor; but somehow he managed to surprise by every move. Shortly after surprising him near a restaurant, he turned a few steps back and entered the reception of a very elegant hotel. After a few moments he left the hotel… Outside, a few photographers gathered and made some captures with him in motion, in the first plan. A bit strange… everything was on the run. This seemed unusual, because I never saw that person again, and I decided to take a picture of the event. I turned back home and tried to find some details about this man. I asked my friends if they recognize him as a vip or something like that, I couldn’t get no answer. A day after, passing by the same boulevard, on my way to the metro station  I saw flyers and stickers everywhere, and they weren’t carring usual information, it was a name written in upcase letters saying “Vote for Adam Reynolds !” . I suddenly remembered that some elections were going on for the mayor of the city. I couldn’t ask why, but the image that I saw on the sticker was incredibly similar with the face of the person about whom I was talking the last day. It was him… I made some connections in that moment. Then, I started searching for clues; nothing, nobody new anything about him. After a week, at the television I saw only once a spot in which he appeared as a candidate for the mayor position. After some time, waiting for news about him, about a week or so, I heared that he gave up his application… everyone was intrigued. It seems that this was a strange case. I was very surprised when, after 1 year, I found out from the belgian state television that the name Adam Reynolds was associated with a person that wasn’t at all well known in the country. That’s because Adam Reynolds was actually a man who made an experiment with his collegues  in which he studied the power of media and the reaction of people from another country in a situation like the one he had put himself… Well, it’s conclusive ! I just wondered how much time and investment must one take to make such a thing…

Journal Passage: Thoughts Chronicle

I arrived home after a week full of prospects and indications which conducted me to a slightly deeper view of my own achievements and goals. Just as I was sitting at a table and enjoying the landscape different ways of combining the resources that I have for creating a balance between the positive and the negative energy came along with the remindings of some old teachings. Shortly after gaining some impulse I went for a walk in the beautiful centre of Bran village. The sun reflecting in the old buildings, people gathering around the bazaar caring with them masks and souvenirs, children disguised in fairytale story clothes, all the agitation and joy made me feel a little brave and happy but in the mean time disconsidering my attitude towards my present thoughts. I set down on a bank located near the bazaar and watched the crowd developing in front of me, giving grateful meanings to my deepest feelings and searching for intangible emotions. It’s a way of surviving for yourself and creating this personal image for the society. After a few moments of complete cutting I reminded myself about the book I was supposed to read constantly each day. I said to myself that more or less I will still get some emotions from the world I’m perceiving so why bother with a book ! I felt really good in my own skin in that moment ! I followed the crowd which was entering the bazaar in a rough way and stayed there looking at different stuff less  valuable for me or perhaps valuable but inaccurate. I’m was getting tired and bored so I decided to go home and open the book I was telling you about. Finally getting some inspiration for my thoughts at the end of the day and just as I was ready to start reading properly from the book I suddenly felt that all that I achieved that day went away, just like a performer loosing his sense of glory… I really hope that Thomas Mann isn’t too upset on me ! From now on I will definitely follow a line in my actions and continue to give proper meanings to them.